Bad jokes escape to evening news
Piers Akerman
BAD jokes used to be confined to Christmas crackers, but now they’ve escaped to the evening news.
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2008: CELEBRITIES
Tim Blair
SHE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING
Singer Rihanna presumably did something terrible or otherwise press-worthy during 2008. The law of celebrity averages practically demands it.
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2008: POLITICS
Tim Blair
FINALLY, A POLITICIAN WORTH LOOKING AT – AND THEY DIDN’T ELECT HER
It’s probably for the best that Sarah Palin failed to become US vice-president, because if she had, the implosion among various snooty political classes, conservative and Left, would have been measurable from Venus. The world can only tolerate so much turmoil in one year.
Everyone always talks about the need for grassroots reform and politicians with real-world experience, then along came a real-world politician from the grass (well, snow) roots of Alaska, and the commentariat ridiculed her.
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2008: SPORT
Tim Blair
RICE PUN SUCCESSFULLY AVOIDED IN HEADLINE
Stephanie Rice successfully represented the emerging nation of Facebook at the Olympic Games, winning three gold medals.
She then embarked on a sequence of alleged romances, including one with US swim star Michael Phelps. Rice denied all the romance rumours, keeping alive the hopes of thousands of teenage boys who’ve recently signed up for swimming lessons.
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2008: AUSTRALIANS
Tim Blair
KEVIN ZOB
Aussies are a weird mob, according to John O’ Grady’s time-tested theory. And we’re getting weirder.
I blame Kevin Rudd, although we certainly had prior warning of our current leader’s essential oddness.
There was the earwax thing, of course, and also a curious exchange on the campaign trail in 2007. When a journalist asked if he could ask a national question, AAP reported, Rudd responded with: ”Zob zob zob.’’
The weirdness hasn’t stopped since Rudd became PM. At one point this year, the Canberra press gallery noticed Rudd habitually sorting and shuffling piles of paper on his desk during Question Time.
Sometimes he would pick one piece of paper from among his 17 or so piles and place it on another pile without reading it.
Other times, he’d write a couple of words (Zob zob?) on a sheet before consigning it to the pile judged most appropriate. Bear our leader’s antics in mind when assessing national weirdness. It’s not our fault.
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2008: WORLD OF ODD
Tim Blair
WHY EVEN ASK?
Farmer Kofi Owusu copped an unexpected inquiry during a romantic encounter with a goat on his farm in Ghana. Lost in goat-lust, Owusu was tapped on the back by neighbouring farmer Adams Kusi, who asked: “My friend, what abomination are you committing?” Declining to reply, Owusu fled the scene.
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STOP DOING EVERYTHING
Tim Blair
Pretty lights are bad:
Scientists have warned that Christmas lights are bad for the planet due to huge electricity waste and urged people to get energy efficient festive bulbs.
CSIRO researchers said householders should know that each bulb turned on in the name of Christmas will increase emissions of greenhouse gases.
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BAD ELF
Tim Blair
Didn’t get the Christmas gift you wanted? Blame Doobie:
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Obama has no answers as Hamas causes Gaza deaths
Israeli warplanes blasted Gaza targets including a mosque and a TV station on Sunday, after a day of airstrikes that killed more than 230 Palestinians.
At least 230 Palestinians, most of them militants, died and more than 400 were wounded on Saturday, one of the bloodiest days in decades of Israeli-Palestinian fighting. One Israeli was also killed and six Israelis were wounded.
The unprecedented assault sparked protests and condemnations throughout the Arab world, and many of Israel's Western allies urged restraint, though the US blamed Hamas for the fighting.
But there was no end in sight. Israel obliquely threatened to go after Hamas' leaders, and militants kept pelting Israel with rockets.
Hundreds of Israeli infantry and armoured corps troops headed for the Gaza border in preparation for a possible ground invasion, military officials said.
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Man shot for talking during movie
A Philadelphia resident, enraged because a family was talking loudly during a film, threw popcorn at a boy and then shot the youngster's father.
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Big brother bosses put bus drivers on edge
Bus drivers say they're being spied on by their bosses, with fears the increased scrutiny from security cameras is putting lives at risk.
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